Squire Skimp's darter Bular is sorter the flower of the cammunity. Agin she gits her hair frizzed and her cheeks cullord up to wher she looks dead ripe and dykes hersef out in a nuff silk and sating to turn a queen's head, she's bout as trim a artickle as you ever throwed your eyes over. She's not only got looks but is oncommonly brainy fer a woman, and when hit comes to speekin pieces, youu never seen her beat. She's a gradgeate of a ellykushun skoole back ther in Missoury wher she comes from and knows might nigh a hunderd pieces by heart. When she gives "Kerfew shall not ring tonight" and puts in all the trimmins, hit brangs tears to abody's eyes. Hits got to wher they caint have no kind of a gatherin without Bular is asked to speak a piece and hits refreshin how willin she is to innertain with her talints.

Bular's tellefone ring is writ down on the wall by might nigh ever tellefone on the party line. They aint many that aint at one time or another set in the parlor and looked through their terryscope and went through their fotograff album from kiver to kiver while Bular explained who all was in it and what their kin is. They ginerally allus have sompin another fer abody to sorter nible on while he's lookin at the pickchurs. If they aint got a batch of pop corn balls made up, Mrs. Skimp'll more'n likely fetch in some cookies fer you to sample and lemonade you two or three times.

Dick Huddleston says that Bular has been the means of makin more men slick their hair down and keep their shoes greased than arry woman in the settlement. She treats em all nice and dont show no favorites and long as she can keep em ever one bleavin he's got the inside track, the parlor lamp'll more'n likely be lit at the Skimpses ever night.

The only thing agin Bular a comin to Pine Ridge is, she's so stylish she's made a smart deal of the wimin fokes unsatisfyed with the clothes their men has been buyin em. Ezry Seekstrunk's woman was a whinein round fer a new hat when she had one at home that weren't moren't four year old and never had a hole in it.

-From "Lum and Abner and Their Friends from Pine Ridge, By Themselves"