This here is Milford Spears, knowed to most as Grandpappy. He was one of the first settlers in the cammunity and claims that when he first come to Pine Ridge the mountings round here wasn't no bigger'n perater hills. They's some thats a leetle joobus bout this story but that dont slow him down on tellin it ever chanch he gits. You know bout the only injoyment abody his age gits outa life is a tellin about what turible things was did in his day. If yarns is bein told and he aint got one right on the end of his mouth that he knows'll out-cap anything thats been told, he'll set ther and pull at his whiskers till he can study out one that'll out-do the otherns. They's some that claims Grandpap is turible hard to git along with on account of him drapping and spillin his temper if he aint handled jist right, but them that knows him lays it off on to his years. You know he's runnin onto eighty seven year old and you might say he's a livin on borryed time so hit aint astonishin that abody'd be a leetle crabit at that age althow he eats as harty as a meat hog and is as peert as a cat-bird. He's allus gittin his back up over sompin another at the meetin house. If the Cirkit Rider fergits to shake hands with him or makes his reemarks too pinted in their meanin, he'll git up and stomp out like he was bein pestered by a wasp. Facts is he jist takes reeligion like hit was medysine; jist only wen he needs it. Ever time he gits bed-rid with the fevers or has one of his sinkin spells, the first thing he does is to send fer the Cirkit Rider and the doctor both. He most gineraly allus promises to give a lot of money to the meetin house if the Cirkit Rider'll hep him pull through the shadders but ag'n he gits up and on his feet agin, they caint make him reekollect ever sayin anything about it.

They's lots of fokes thataway; git em in a tight place and they'll promise might nigh anything if they git out but agin hits all over they have a dreadful hard time ever callin it to mind.

-From "Lum and Abner and Their Friends from Pine Ridge, By Themselves"