Uncle Henry is bout the best off finanshul as arry citizen in the cammunity but peers to git a sight of comfort outa talkin bout how hard times is. They's some that claims he's go the first dollar he ever made but that might be stretchin it some whilst hit wouldn't be at tall onreasonabul to say he's got ninety five cents of it. He's got some of the best bottom land that a crow ever flew over and a nuff means out on intrust to more'n keep him the way he lives, but he's as hard to sepyrate from it as a cow is her calf. Trying to talk him into donatin some cash to hep fix up the meeting house or put up fer prizes fer the old fiddlers contest is jist like argyin with a stump on fire. He aint got no more friends than a snappin dog and fer that reason he's sorter soured on the world, goin round most of the time with a face as long as if he'd jist heerd Jedgement was comin the next day. He's turible tetchy and is allus gittin his feelins hurt by somebody failin to pay as much mind to him as he thinks they ort to. If the kongeratshun dont amen his reemarks right smartly agin he gits up and talks in meetin, he'll stand round after services lookin mad a nuff to burn the buildin down.

Now in spite of all of Uncle Henry's short comins, he's as thoughty of his woman as he was when they was first spliced. He has went to all the expense and trouble of runnin a pipe from the spring house right into the kitchen so's she wont wear hersef out a totein water and put spikes in her shoes so's she can climb up the hills better to drag down the wood. He has been knowed to hep weed the garden and has went so fer as to hep milk the cows when she wern't at hersef. Since they got one of them reevolvin tables, he has took to lettin the wimin folks set right down at the table and eat with the men septin when one of em has got to stand up and fan the flys off with a sweet-gum bresh.

Hit all jist goes to show that if abody looks closet a nuff he can find good pints bout most anybody reegardless of their shortcomins.

-From "Lum and Abner and Their Friends from Pine Ridge, By Themselves"