Cedric: Oh, looky here. Mr. Abner, have you got a pencil?

Abner: Yeah, I b'lieve I have. What do you want with it, Cedric?

Cedric: I just seen one of them criss-cross puzzles here and thought I'd work it.

Abner: Huh? Oh! A crossword puzzle, ya mean.

Cedric: Yes, mom. You ain't got a red pencil, have ya?

Abner: A red pencil? Now what do you need one of them for?

Cedric: Well, a black pencil won't show up on them black squares.

Abner: The black squares? Well, you ain't s'posed to write on them, Cedric.

Cedric: Oh, ya ain't?

Abner: Why, 'course not!

Cedric: Well, who's s'posed to write on them then? The feller you're planning again'?

Abner: No! You ain't playing again' nobody. Nobody's s'posed to write on them!

Cedric: Well, what did they go to all the bother of puttin' 'em in there for then?

Abner: Well, the reason for that, Cedric, they, uh... well, they, uh... Why did they put them in there? I never had stopped to think about that, don't b'lieve.

Cedric: Waste of printin', looks to me like.

Abner: Oh, well. They must be some reason for 'em, surely. They all have 'em, I know that. I've saw 'em before.

Cedric: Well, what do you think I oughta do about 'em?

Abner: If I was you I b'lieve I'd just iganore 'em, Cedric. I don't think it'll make much difference no way. Doggies, that newspaper's about four months old.

Cedric: That's right. Let's see. #1. Mountain Lake. Reckon what that'd be?

Abner: How many letter's is they?

Cedric: I don't know. I haven't thought of it yet.

Abner: Well, no, but I mean, you can tell by the puzzle there how many letters it's got, Cedric.

Cedric: You mean they give the answers right here?

Abner: No.See here. Here. Let me show you. You count the number of squares for that word, and that tells you how many letters are s'posed to be in it.

Cedric: I don't see what that's got to do with it. If it's Moon Lake, why, then it'd just be four. But if it's Old Willer Lake, why then it'd be more.

Abner: Yeah. But see, the idee is, Cedric, you're s'posed to find one that fits the number of spaces there in the puzzle. Here. Give me the thing.

Cedric: Yeah. See if you can figger it out. I'll study up some more lakes.

Abner: Let me see here. Well, get your head out of the way, Cedric. I can't see through it. One, two, three, four, five, six letters is what it's got in there.

Cedric: Don't reckon it could be the Mill Pond? It's kind of a lake.

Abner: Well, it ain't no mountain lake. 'Sides it's got too many letters anyway. Mill Pond won't fit in there.

Cedric: Maybe you could put the extra letters in them black spaces there. Maybe that's what they're for.

Abner: No. I don't b'lieve they are. Let's see now. Mountain Lake.

Cedric: 'Course there's Briar Creek. That ain't 'xactly a lake, though, I don't think.

Abner: No.

Cedric: What about Warshtaw River?

Abner: No. That won't work. A mountain lake's what it is! Maybe we better try somethin' else here.Work back to that 'un after awhile. Two. Be Seated.

Cedric: I am settin'.

Abner: I mean, that's #2 horizontal.

Cedric: What is?

Abner: Be Seated.

Cedric: I told you, I am settin'. Just look at me!

Abner: Cedric, you don't understand.

Cedric: You want me to set horizontal?

Abner: For the land sakes alive! Be Seated is the word we're trying to think of for the puzzle. It's #2 horizontal.

Cedric: Oh. I see what you mean. Be Seated, huh? That's a hard one, ain't it?

Abner: Well, I reckon that'd be Set Down.

Cedric: That's just about it!

Abner: No, no. It's too long. It's just three letters. Could be Set, I reckon. S-E-T. Set. Yeah, that fits.

Cedric: We're sure a-goin' good now, ain't we?

Abner: Yeah. We got a start now. Whip this out in no time a-tall here. Lucky thing you got me along with you, knows about such as this. #2 vertical.

Cedric: What can that be? Vertical. Vertical. That's a tough one.

Abner: Well, wait'll I tell you what it is. Vertical ain't the word we're tryin' to think up, Cedric.

Cedric: Oh. Well, that's good. 'Cause I know I never could get that.

Abner: The word we want is, uh...

Cedric: Say, maybe Vertical is the name of that mountain lake.

Abner: No. Just be quiet for a minute, Cedric, so I can figger this out. I can't conceltrate and you talkin'. The word we're tryin' to get now is Adopted.

Cedric: It is?

Abner: Yeah. Vertical #2 is Adopted.

Cedric: What do you know about that? Who adopted it?

Abner: Nobody adopted it.

Cedric: Poor little fella. Poor little Vertical.

Abner: Listen, Cedric...

Cedric: Has he got a twin brother? Is that why they call him Vertical #2?

Abner: For the land sakes alive!

Cedric: I know when the Fitzroys had twins, everyone called them Fitz #1 and Fitz #2. Abner: Yeah. Well, Cedric, this ain't got nothin' to do with the Fitzroys, or twins neither one. All we're tryin' to do is find out what Adopted means.

Cedric: I know what it means. And I hate to think about it, too. Poor little orphan Vertical. What happened to his brother? Did somebody adopt him?

Abner: I don't know, Cedric. Doggies, you got me so mixed up here, I don't know what to think no more.

Cedric: (sobbing) Well, I reckon there ain't nothin' we can do for 'em, no ways.

Abner: No. Now, just be quiet. Now, Cedric, now stop that cryin'. I ain't gonna sit in this car all day and listen to you blubber. Now, you just hush up.

Cedric: (still sobbing) I know. But I liked Vertical.

Abner: Well, you just be quiet. Stop that cryin' or get out of the car, one of the two. Now, I ain't gonna listen to it!

Cedric: Well, I just puddle up ever' time I think about it.

Abner: Well. There's nothin' wrong. There ain't no little twin boys, so just quit worryin' about it. Dry your eyes. Here. Wipe 'em on your shirt tail.

Cedric: I'm 'shamed of myself.

Abner: Well, just sit up here now, and pay attention. We got to get this figgered out if we're gonna work this puzzle.

Cedric: Yeah. Let's get back to the Criss-Cross Puzzle. What's the next word now?

Abner: Well, uh, I got better sense than to tell ya, I know that.

Cedric: Well, just give me sort of a hint, Mr. Abner. I'm goin' good now. I b'lieve I can get it. If I can quit blubberin'.

Abner: Well, now, be quiet, Cedric. Quit cryin'. Think of somethin' else. Here. This 'un oughta be good. #7 across. Vanquished.

Cedric: That's where a lot of people set down to a big table and eat, ain't it?

Abner: I don't know. Might be.

Cedric: (starting to sob again) I can't get my mind of them twin boys.

Abner: For the land sakes alive, Cedric! Now just straighten up there. You oughta be ashamed of yourself, a big boy your age, settin' out here in the back seat of a car 'long side a road blubberin' your eyes out.

Cedric: Well, I'll get in the front seat then.

Abner: Somebody come along, they'll think I been beatin' on ya or somethin'. Vanquished. Well, that means Disappear.

Cedric: Yeah. That's a easy one. Try to find a hard one.

Abner: Well, wait'll I write this 'un down first. It might not fit.

Cedric: If it don't you've always got them black squares to use.

Abner: D-I-S... how's that spelled now? Disappear. D-I-S... uh, U-P-E-R. Dis-ay-pear. I'll put a A in there instead of a U. There. D-I-S-A-P-E-R. Doggies, that just fits! I was a little leery on how to spell that. Must be right 'long as it fits so good.

Cedric: Bound to be, bound to be. What's next?

Abner: Let's see here. Ancient Egyptian Bandit.

Cedric: Hey, Mr. Abner. Ain't that him comin' yonder there?

Abner: Who the 'Gyptian Bandit?

Cedric: No. Mr. Dick. See him down the road there?

Abner: Well, I see somebody. It's too far away for me to tell who it is, though, Cedric.

Cedric: Well, it's him. I can tell.

Abner: Well, you sure got better eyes than I've got.

Cedric: Well, it's him.

Abner: I bound you he'll sure be wore out hikin' clean into the county seat and back again.

Cedric: I hope he's got some more sandriches with him.

Abner: Yeah, me, too. You know, you've sure got to hand it to Dick for bein' such a nice fella, and thinkin' of ever'thing, don't ya?

Cedric: Oh, he's all right!

Abner: Yes, he is. He is.

Cedric: Hiked in there yeste'day when we was broke down and couldn't get a new oil pump, so he walked clean back here and brung us some vittles.

Abner: Yeah. And he got that farmer to give us a bed to sleep in last night. And then went back to the county seat again this mornin'.

Cedric: Oh, he's been so nice to us. No two ways about that.

Abner: Yep. There's a friend, Cedric. A true friend.

Cedric: They don't come no better'n that, I know that. I hate to think of such a nice feller as he is bein' disapp'inted.

Abner: Disapp'inted?

Cedric: Yeah. When he finds out the car won't run.

Abner: Well, why won't it? What went wrong was the oil pump busted and he's bringin' a new one. That oughta make it run.

Cedric: Only trouble is... we're out of gas, too.

Abner: Out of gas?! Well, why in the world didn't you tell Dick to bring some back with him long as he had to go in there anyway, Cedric?

Cedric: Well, sir. Here's the way I looked at it, Mr. Abner. I just figgered he'd done so much for us already, I just hated to ask him to do anything else.