Sister Simpson can stir up more trouble twixt folks axidental than arry half dozen wimen can ordinary. She's allus been powerful enerjitick in everbody's business septin her own. She'll take and leave her clothes in the warsh biler any time to go out and see how many signers she can git on a pititin to git a law passed to make everbody keep their cows and pigs shet up or sompin else equal as outlandish. She's allus the first un in Pine Ridge to git holdt of the news and the minit she hears sompin that she bleaves will astonish the nabors, she'll drap whatever she's a doin, if she is a doin sopin, and hike out to spread it. She'll set ther at the tellefone by the hour listenin in on the party line and fer that reason fokes is a leetle joobus bout speakin their mind right out over the tellefone. They tell it on her that she's got some sort of a wire contrapshun rigged up to wher she can fasten the reeceever to her ear so's she can set ther by the tellefone and churn or shell peas and listen in all at the same time. Long as Sister Simpson lives round here clost, hits a out and out waste of money fer the nabors to perscribe fer a newspaper.

Abody can go in Sister Simpson's house at might nigh any time and hits like findin yer way through the underbresh to pick yersef out a path threw the muss. Ginerally allus the fire is out and the clock stopped and here'll be a pan of ashes spilt right in the middle of the floor and maybe a winder blind tore down and throwed acrosst a chair. They'll be dishes upset on the table, chairs knocked over and likely as not a pitcher of milk dumped over on the floor. If the younguns aint in the house with the clothes line tied to a chair or bed a playing horse, you can find em out back tryin to git up a fight twixt the dog and a stray cur.

But now if yer needin somebody to hep fix up the skoole house fer a box social, or somebody to play the organ at singin, you can allus count on Sister Simpson.

Yessir, thers a woman that gits a dreadful lot of injoyment outa lookin after other fokeses bizness.

-From "Lum and Abner and Their Friends from Pine Ridge, By Themselves"